Swirl Cone

This is a picture of my brain.

It looks pleasant enough, but that swirl cone is actually a torrent of chocolate-y self hate and sweet vanilla self pity on a cheap cone of sarcasm that tastes like nothing. And I suppose for the purposes of fully utilizing the picture, we'll say the red backround is my murderous rage or insatiable hunger for enchiladas.

I think on the outside I'm a pretty indifferent human being(and on the inside just a bit... maybe that's what the cone is made of... indifference). I do my best to avoid confrontation and drama. I seem to emit 2 emotions, one sounds like laughter and comes from feelings of delight, and the other is a quiet brooding that makes me look super thoughtful. Otherwise I'm a robot. But on the inside is this hilarious soap opera of enormous emotional anxiety where I'm surely always the victim. I exaggerate my struggles and circumstances greatly in my brain, and sometimes in conversation with those unlucky humans who are close to me.

I doubt I'm the only person who does this, but my swirl cone brain combats these thoughts of victimization(v for vanilla) with things like "Hey idiot, stop feeling bad for yourself, there are so many people with worse problems than you!". Vanilla then responds with things like "Gah! You're right, I AM an idiot! Woe is me and my general state of being!".  Then an extra fun level of irony(maybe rainbow sprinkles?) sets on where I pity my problems of self pity and self hate and write an absurd blog about it. None of it makes any sense and it makes a huge mess. But at least it tastes like ice cream.

I don't really have a takeaway for this. I've never been a swirl cone guy in reality. Simplicity tastes better to me.  Maybe whatever dispenses my soul/brain/heart ice cream will break from overuse and only spew out one flavor, and then I can deal with that head on. That sounds an awful lot like hitting rock bottom and I don't know what that looks like for me. Which is terrifying, but apparently good things can happen afterwards.

Or maybe someone could spill a bunch of strawberry flavoring into my dispensary and something totally new and awesome could come out. Red like the blood of Christ. BOOM. I'm so clever. The cone is for cleverness.

But the ice cream dispenser seems to be sealed shut and running at unprecedented levels, and self glorified sarcastic cleverness just makes you look like an ass.

Till next time
Vomit Swirl Cone Gabriel